Recommended Reading
These books aren’t required reading, and reading them isn’t a substitute for individualized therapy. They’re simply resources I find myself recommending often. Pick whichever fits where you are right now.
Boundaries · Self-Worth · Burnout & Stress · Grief & Loss · Couples & Relationships · Infidelity & Trust · Communication & Conflict · Trauma · Depression
Boundaries
Set Boundaries, Find Peace
Nedra Glover Tawwab
If the word “no” makes you anxious, this is your book. Tawwab breaks down what boundaries actually look like in real relationships — with family, partners, coworkers, and yourself — without making it feel cold or aggressive.
Therapy and self-awareness
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
Lori Gottlieb
A therapist goes to therapy. Part memoir, part honest look at how therapy actually works from the inside. Demystifies the process in a way that is funny, sharp, and deeply human. Great if you are curious about what therapy is really like.
Burnout and stress
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle
Emily and Amelia Nagoski
Written specifically about why women experience burnout differently, and what to actually do about it. Real science, real tools, refreshingly honest about how the world is set up to exhaust women in particular.
Self-worth and identity
You Are Your Best Thing
Tarana Burke and Brené Brown (eds.)
Essays by Black writers, academics, and artists on shame, vulnerability, and the Black experience. If you have ever felt like your story was not reflected in the self-help books you picked up, this one is for you.
Burnout and stress
The Self Care Prescription
Dr. Robyn Gobin
Self-care that goes beyond candles and face masks. Dr. Gobin addresses the real roots of burnout and offers practical tools for managing stress, building limits, and developing a sustainable relationship with yourself.
Grief and loss
It’s OK That You’re Not OK
Megan Devine
A compassionate guide for processing grief that does not try to rush you through it or silver-line it. Validates that some losses do not have a neat resolution — and that is okay. For anyone navigating loss of any kind.
Grief and loss
The Wild Edge of Sorrow
Francis Weller
A deeply thoughtful exploration of grief as a natural, communal human experience rather than a problem to fix. Weller identifies five gates of grief, including loss of what we never had and the grief of living in a disconnected world. Beautifully written and genuinely healing.
Couples and relationships
Hold Me Tight
Dr. Sue Johnson
The foundational book on Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples, written for everyday readers. If you want to understand why you and your partner keep hitting the same wall, this book explains it better than almost anything else.
Couples and attachment
Wired for Love
Stan Tatkin
A practical guide to how attachment styles play out in romantic relationships. Explains why your partner does the things that drive you crazy — and why you do too. Great for couples who want to understand each other at a deeper level.
Infidelity and betrayal
After the Affair
Janis Abrahms Spring
One of the most respected books on recovering from infidelity, written for both the partner who was hurt and the one who caused the hurt. Honest about how hard this is and what recovery actually requires. Not a promise — a roadmap.
Infidelity and trust
Not Just Friends
Shirley P. Glass
A comprehensive look at emotional and physical affairs — how they start, why they happen, and what it takes to rebuild trust after them. Honest and thoroughly researched. Useful for both partners.
Infidelity and communication
The State of Affairs
Esther Perel
A provocative and nuanced look at infidelity that refuses to assign simple blame. Perel explores what affairs reveal about desire, identity, and what we want from modern marriage. Not everyone will agree with her, but it will make you think.
Communication and conflict
Why Won’t You Apologize?
Harriet Lerner
A deep dive into the art of genuine apology and why it is so hard. Explores how to give one, how to receive one, and what to do when the person who hurt you cannot or will not apologize. Essential for anyone navigating conflict in close relationships.
Desire and connection
Mating in Captivity
Esther Perel
Explores the tension between love and desire in long-term relationships — why intimacy and passion can work against each other and how to hold onto both. Honest, a little provocative, and very worth the read.
Self-worth and lifestyle
Untamed
Glennon Doyle
A memoir about unlearning everything you were taught about who you are supposed to be and finding out who you actually are. Raw, funny, and quietly radical. Especially resonates for women who have been building a life around others’ expectations.
Self-worth and body image
More Than a Body
Lexie and Lindsay Kite
Research-backed exploration of how we have been taught to see ourselves and what it does to our mental health, relationships, and sense of self. If you have ever felt at war with how you look, this book offers a different framework entirely.
Relationships and attachment
Attached
Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
The accessible, widely-read introduction to adult attachment theory. Identifies anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment styles and explains how they play out in romantic relationships. If you have ever wondered why you or your partner behaves a certain way in relationships, start here.
Trauma and the body
The Body Keeps the Score
Bessel van der Kolk
A landmark book on how trauma lives in the body and shapes behavior, relationships, and health long after the event. Dense but deeply important. If you want to understand why you respond to stress the way you do, this book holds a lot of answers.
Depression
The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression
Andrew Solomon
A comprehensive, beautifully written account of depression — as a researcher, as a patient, and as a cultural phenomenon. Not a self-help book exactly, but one of the most honest and illuminating books ever written about what depression actually is and how people live with it.